Do you know how to slice an orange into wedges?
Oh yeah, well, good for you.
It never occurred to me there is any certain way to cut an orange until Saturday morning.
I typically don’t even buy oranges here in Washington state because, in general, they taste like ass. And when I was growing up in California (where the oranges rock, by the way), my mother held the citrus-cutting gig. No need for me to do it. But now, I’m a mom with a 4-year-old on a soccer team so, you know, orange wedges.
Anyway, there I was standing at the kitchen island enjoying the weekend smells of coffee and Eggos. My preschooler was in the living room watching PBS Kids or ESPN Gameday or a commercial for Paranormal Activity 4. I can’t remember.
I had my cutting board, a giant knife and a pile of six mediocre-looking oranges in front of me. I sliced one in half.
Then I totally blanked.
Now what? How do people get wedges from these things?
I cut one of the halves down the middle. Voila! Two huge wedges. That doesn’t look right.
I timidly cut one of them again, then freaked out.
Ack! That’s a slice, not a wedge! I don’t know how to cut orange wedges! What sort of mother am I?! I suck!
I looked over at Karsen, who was acting out a football game with his strange concoction of stuffed animals: several Winnie-the-Pooh characters, a large and small version of WSU’s Cougar mascot, a husky named Boo and a green monkey, who goes by Monks. I watched him for a little bit – his sweet in-between-baby-and-boy face – and listened to his munchkin voice call out the plays, and you know what I thought next?
F*ck the oranges.
I made slices instead of wedges with a smile on my face.
That’s hilarious! Been there done that. I don’t think it matters with soccer, the kids just shove them in their mouths and smile with the rinds showing:) Or is that just my kid?:) Are you going to the packet pick up on Friday?
Yeah, they don’t care! LOL! It was the other moms I was more worried about. Heh. I’m actually not running on Saturday. 🙁
Oranges are THE WORST. I only eat those kind you can peel all in one peel – mandarins or something. So I have no clue to how to cut an orange either!
Hahaha. I was really hoping to get advice from this post, instead you made me laugh. 🙂
LOL. i pretty much invent a new way to cut a fruit/veggie everytime i eat one. there’s a reason i’m not a chef at a 5-star restaurant! 🙂