I Got Struck by “Old-Man Hands”

I have been using 15-pound dumbbells during my Metabolic Effect weight-training workouts. *taking a bow* The bar on these dumbbells is metal with engraved cross-hatches, which are there, I assume, so the weights don’t slip out of your grip. Instead, they give you calluses. Everything in life is a trade-off. You should know this by now.

Yesterday, I did my weights routine for 20 minutes and then immediately got on my bike trainer for 30-second sprints (with 60-second rest intervals) for 20 minutes. Because I worked later than normal yesterday, I had exactly 45 minutes to get both of these 20-minute routines (and a warm up) done before it was time to go get my son from the bus stop. I just made you do math.

Here’s my weights routine right now:

• 12 squats with a bent-over fly
• 12 pushups with a row (I have to use my 12-pound ‘bells for this one because the 15-pounders are round and roll away…it’s kinda funny when I think about it, but not when it’s happening)
• 12 static squat with a row, then tricep extension
• 12 squats with an overhead press

On Monday, I did exactly 4 rounds of each in 20 minutes. Yesterday, I was again able to do 4 rounds of each, plus one more round of the first exercise. Surprising since my arms were shaking so bad! Now, when I shake, I’m like: This is where the magic happens! I used to be like: I’m going to die!

Like I mentioned before, after the weights, I got on my bike trainer. This is no problem since I’m a freak and love working out. Plus, I’m three shows behind on The Voice.

I start with one-minute super easy pedaling (seriously slow at like 5 mph). This is also a good time to fast-forward commercials on the TV. Then I switch to a harder gear and pedal like crazy for 30 seconds (don’t try to use the TV remote at this time), then back to super easy (okay to employ the 30-second skip on the DVR now).

On Monday, I was able to get up to 20 mph in the harder gear, but yesterday, my legs were shot and I stayed in a middle gear and could only get up to 17 or 18 mph. So I only went 3.17 miles yesterday as opposed to Monday’s 3.5 miles in 20 minutes.

Yesterday, I was definitely feeling the burn! In a good way, of course. And I was racing the clock. I finished the bike with 2 minutes to spare. I hopped off my bike, threw off my cycling shoes, ran to my closet to grab a sweatshirt to cover my sweaty sports bra, and slipped into some running shoes. Then, I wobbled down the street with shaky Jell-O legs and arms, and I even had a little time to get the mail first…all junk as usual.

My son, who is 5-1/2 and in kindergarten, got off the bus and, as we normally do, we held hands to cross the street. But mid-way, he shook me off and yelled in horror, “You feel like you have old-man hands!”

Gee, thanks kid. When I work out, my hands get puffy okaaaaaay? (Although the calluses probably contributed some to his comparison.) Of course, later I got to wondering: Why do my hands get so swollen after I work out? It goes away pretty quickly after HIIT-type workouts like the ones I did yesterday, but I notice it after running, too.

Here’s my hands will look after today’s 40-minute tempo run:

Luckily, to get the answer to my question, we have the Internets, a place where we can waste an hour in what feels like 5 minutes discover and learn about the wonders of the universe. According to an article on RealSimple.com, during exercise (especially running), blood vessels expand to rush oxygen to the muscles, which makes the muscles pump blood back to the heart. No problem for our large muscles, but not so easy for the smaller, less efficient, ones in our arms and hands. They don’t circulate extra blood as well. And if they have to fight gravity, it’s even worse. So the blood pools in your fingers’ veins.

If it bothers you while running, Sosena Kebede, an assistant professor of medicine at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine, offered this tip in the article: Raise your arms over-head and pump your fists to keep blood flowing while you jog.

My advice: Act like you are crossing a finish line every couple of minutes while you’re out on a run in your neighborhood or on the treadmill in the gym or on the track at your local high school. Make cheering noises, too.

I mean, what’s worse? Being called “weirdo” or being called “man hands”?

Wrong! Being called “jumping jacks pants-pee-er,” is worse. Ha! I’m surprised you didn’t know that.