The Only Redeeming Quality of this Post is its Use of Someecards

The nice thing about getting a bone density scan is that you have an excuse to wear running clothes in public instead of uncomfortable regular clothing that has metal on it. So Monday I dressed in running stuff and drove down to the clinic to turn in my jug of pee and get a blood test, then I headed over to the hospital to get my scan.

Fun fact! I found out I have six vertebrae instead of the usual five. Ah, so that explains why I needed extra-long Speedos all those years while on the swim team. This isn’t all that unusual or anything. You may also be six-vertebraed. Sounds exotic, doesn’t it? Aren’t you glad you know this now?

As fun as my doctor appointments were, I couldn’t wait to be done with them. I was racing the sun. Yes, we had SUN in Seattle. No, it wasn’t warm. Don’t you know that sunshine does not equal heat in the Pacific Northwest? No, it does not make sense to me either.

So after my X-rays, I sprinted (since I had on my running shoes and all) to my car in the hospital parking garage (running at the hospital is not weird at all), and then drove to the Cedar River Trail for a 4-miler. More and more clouds were blowing in! But Mr. T texted me he was going to call me about something in a couple minutes. WHAT?! What could possibly be more important than getting a run in while there was SUN?! Oh, our finances. Oh, okay.

When I finally got out on the trail and started running, I felt a little light-headed. Then I remembered I had some blood drawn and I hadn’t eaten much. Oops. But really, I think it was because the wind was so strong I couldn’t lift my head to see where I was going. If I did, I couldn’t open my eyes. Sort of an important part of seeing. So I had to stare at the ground. I hate running in the wind. Tears dripped down my cheeks from under my sunglasses. Have I ever mentioned how much I hate running in the wind? Oh, only 123 times? Well, here’s 124: I hate running in the wind. It blows.

Hahahaha! C’mon, that’s funny stuff.

Anyway, I was running like the hunchback of Notre Dame into the wind when I looked to the side and noticed the plants and trees weren’t moving. So, basically, there was only wind on me? I looked all around at the brush across the highway that runs alongside the trail and up at the tops of the evergreens next to me, and couldn’t see any blowing vegetation. I still don’t know how this is possible, but luckily for my run and my mental health, it stopped after the first mile.

I continued going slightly uphill for another mile, then turned around for the gradual downhill. Whee! And, before I knew it, I was back at my car. But. But. I didn’t want to be done. I decided on an extra half mile. I was, after all, still feeling a little tight from Saturday’s race, so I didn’t want to overdo it too much. Overdoing it just a little is totally okay. I’m pretty sure it’s even endorsed by someone somewhere.

So, I ended Monday with 4.5 miles in about 38 minutes and went to the grocery store all stinky and sweaty. Another advantage of running clothes: If you stink, people assume you smell because you worked out, not because you don’t bathe, which they would probably think if you stunk  and were wearing a sweater and jeans. Just sayin’. These are things to consider when getting dressed in the morning.

Tuesday, it was back to the routine: work and freezing sideways effing rain. And when I came home last night: snow. Snow is the new rain around here. Happy spring!

Unfortunately, when I picked T Junior up after work, he had just woken up from a rest with a fever. It’s been going around, so I wasn’t that surprised. Poor guy was out of it. After getting him all settled in bed, I did my modified Run Less Run Faster strength routine. I had to do SOMETHING. Why can’t I just do nothing on a rest day?

You know what would make a funny YouTube video? Me, doing pushups something resembling pushups with my hands on the exercise ball. It would be one of those videos where you can predict what’s going to happen, it’s just a matter of when: Either she is going to just completely fall or that ball is going to EXPLODE in her face and THEN she’s going to fall. I was pretty sure the ball was going to pop first and then I’d fall, and I was going to be blinded for life and then win an insignificant amount of money on “America’s Funniest Home Videos.” I’m not sure I can blame the fear of blindness and Tom Bergeron for my five half-sort-of pushups or not, or if I should just admit that my arms are as weak as I am in the presence of a bag of Brach’s jelly beans.

The rest of the strength routine included some torturous one leg squats, walking squats, monster squats, calf raises, arm rows, blah, blah, blah, and I did some bicycle crunches, too, you know, just for fun.

How many of you thought “cowbell” immediately after reading “fever”? Why is it so quiet in here? Oh yeah, Bennie’s at the vet and T Junior’s sick. And WHY in the hell are we watching “The Santa Clause” in March?