I go through food phases. Okay, okay. Addictions.
Lately, it’s popcorn. And wine. But not together because that would be gross (unless you know of a good wine that goes with popcorn — message me, k?). The popcorn has to be air-popped and have lots of freshly melted, salted butter poured on it. And it has to be mixed up really well. I do not like dry popcorn. I also do not like to share.
And the wine has to be … who am I kidding? The wine just has to be.
But both of these things are actually doing me harm. Yeah, I should just admit it.
The popcorn is really salty and I sometimes have two big salad bowls of it — like 10 cups of popcorn and some ungodly amount of butter that I’m too shamed to admit here. I NEVER feel good afterward and often have stomach troubles the next day. So why do I keep eating it? Because it’s so freakin’ good, that’s why! I need help.
I tend to have the wine later in the evening, and I think it’s affecting my sleep because I keep having to get up multiple times in the night to visit the bathroom. I NEED a full night’s sleep like nobody’s biznezz. Seriously.
I’ve had other food addictions in the past. There was the pickle phase (TWSS), the era of hot chocolate and the reign of apples dipped in peanut butter. Oh, and who could forget the Month of the Banana Split, which tragically ended with me bawling on the phone to Mr. T while sitting in my car in the parking lot of my doctors office. I’d just discovered I’d gained 12 pounds in, basically, 30 days. I was 6 months pregnant.
So, tonight after I get home from water aerobics, I’m quittin’ popcorn cold turkey! That’s right. I said it. NO popcorn…unless I’m at the mov… NO! No popcorn! From now on, when I think of popcorn, I will think of dog poop. Yes, I will associate it with dog doo. When I look at the puffy popped kernels, I will think “Hey, look at those brown piles of dog stuff.” Do you think that will work?
I know what you are thinking. What about the wine? Let’s not get carried away here, okay. One thing at a time. Yes, I will stop drinking wine.
But only after 9 p.m. No wine after 9. Hey, that’s easy to remember. Popcorn=dog crap. No wine after 9. I think I can do this.
What are your food addictions? Don’t lie and say you don’t have any. Do you think this will last? Are you mad at me for ruining popcorn for you?
15 comments
I can so relate to this. Popcorn is my fav snack and I went through a phase of making it every night, sometimes with a beer, a couple times with wine and maybe once or twice with just water. It is hard but you can do it. Maybe use it as a reward or for a special occasion. I am pretty much a salt person so if you put a chip or pretzel in front of me, I will eat it. I am doing this crazy Game On diet with friends and I am pretty sure it is killing me. No snacks, no booze. What the heck was I thinking?!
You’re too funny. Strangely, I will only eat popcorn if it DOESNT have butter on it. I like it popped on the stove with garlic salt, but zero butter.
and I’m addicted to pizza and beer. I refuse to associate it with dog poop though, no plan on giving either of those up.
Hilarious but all so true post! I simply MUST have something sweet after dinner and I’ve pretty much tried everything to not do it, but now I just try to swap the treats for lower calorie things…sometimes not very successfully! Give up wine…that is nonsense, but I like your no wine after 9 rule.
Well, we all know how I feel about cupcakes.
But, I eat a whole bag of pop secret homestyle popcorn EVERY SINGLE NIGHT. And I’ve been known to lick the bag clean. Gross, I know.
I am sending willpower thoughts your way!
Current food addictions:
Dreyer’s French Silk Ice Cream
Salad of Spinach,Feta, Walnut, Red Onion, Strawberry which would be okay on it’s own, but it tastes amazing with Poppy Seed dressing which is 200 calories per 2 tbsp. ๐
And I’m not mad. You didn’t ruin popcorn for me, at least not yet. ๐
I go through food phases also. I keep hoping one of these times I will be stuck on a healthy one, but that rarely is the case. Right now it’s hot chocolate. With Bailey’s in it. Mmm Or cookies and cream ice cream. I justify that I get the lower fat kind. I’m pretty sure that doesn’t help nearly as much as I think it does.
So far I have managed to resist cadbury creme eggs, but I don’t expect it to last. Those things are evil.
Oddly that hasn’t ruined it for me. I might just make myself some right now, but I just finished running so I’m allowed. I, too, refuse to actually account for how much butter I put on mine… ๐
We’re big on wine in our house too (Colin more so than me). It doesn’t help that his parents moved up to BC’s wine region. We never fail to come home with a trunk full of bottles! Colin thought for a while that wine was making it harder for him to lose weight, but I suggested it was maybe the sushi that we were getting all too often.
My current addiction is cherry coke. I really should tell my parents to stop buying it when they go to the States…
Oh POPCORN how I love thee, let me count the ways!! I could not call popcorn poop because it is pure deliciousness (sorry this does not help you to not want it but I must be honest)!! Popcorn is one of my food loves as well as coffee…espresso to be exact and that is probably my worst addiction but who can’t treasure a good Starbucks?? Let me know how it goes, good luck!!
I can’t seem to give up peanut M&Ms. I may have tweeted about them once or twice, I will say that popcorn is evil, though I really do enjoy it. The dry kind really isn’t so bad, especially if you’re washing it down with wine, which is good for your heart ๐
Tilamook chocolate mudslide ice cream!! I think about it while eating dinner! Then I have to wait an appropriate amount of time before I dig in! Every. Night.
What if you just tried to limit the butter / salt on top Of the popcorn? Isn’t popcorn by itself good for you? There’s got to be a decent alternative! Was the banana split incident the first time you found out you were pregnant?!
Last night for dinner I had Theo chocolate (fennel, fig, almond) and a black&tan for dinner. Addictions: wine, beer, chocolate.
You are so funny =o). I’m on a diet. Well,… I’m trying to be on a diet. I haven’t managed too well. For three days in a row I’ve tried to avoid this Italian soft nougat treat: http://www.quaranta.it/eng/torronepeso.aspx. I seem to have no control! On Tueday it was soft nougat with raisins & rum. On Wednesday it was soft nougat with lemon. And yesterday it was soft nougat with coffee beans. Everytime when I went to the store I had decided not to buy any treats. But everytime I came out with the soft nougat. I don’t know what’s gotten into me. It’s that time of the month, so, that could be part of it. I’ll have to try your poop technique. It can be quite hard, though. The soft nougat looks way too delicious…
I think we are living the same life. My current addiction is Cadbury Eggs and Wine. I will probably end up on the TV show Intervention in the next couple of months…
Sorry I’m no help, it’s kettle corn for me! Besides, popcorn packs nicely in GALLON zip lock bags & light to carry ๐
Good luck!