(My Big, Fat Stupid) Jelly Bean Virtual 5K Recap

Stoopid: When I get the “sillies” on a long run.
Stupid: What I did Saturday.

So it’s Easter weekend. The weather was going to be completely different between Saturday and Sunday. Saturday: clear skies, sun and temps in the 60’s. Sunday: rain and temps in the 50’s. We have been starving for some sun here in the Pacific Northwest, so the thought of running in a skirt and tank top was highly appealing. That and I was curious. How would the warmth affect me? Stupid? Yes.

But first: Here are some of the stupid mistakes I made before even stepping out the front door to run. The first one I made Saturday was not running early in the morning when it was cool outside. I so wanted to soak up the sunshine that I slept in, opting to run during T Junior’s mid-day nap instead.

The second mistake I made was eating a big salad with lettuce, shredded chicken, red onion, tomatoes and almond slices covered in ranch dressing less than an hour before I went running.

The third mistake is one I’ve been making a lot: not drinking enough water. I have got to get this one fixed. I have not been good about water consumption.

Finally, I have decided to pretty much wear compression socks on all runs from here on out because I am paranoid. I recently bought some CEPs and Saturday would be the first run in them. They worked well with my “Fierce Bunny” outfit for the Jelly Bean Virtual 5K hosted by the lovely Jess from Run with Jess. (I did not run in the ears.)

Annie totally photo-bombed me.

Okay, you are caught up on the pre-race stupidity. Now, for the run:

I had six miles on the schedule. My plan was to run the first two as a “warm up.” Stupid move on the run #1: not bringing water. As I stepped out the front door into warmth(!), I debated…Should I bring water? Hmmmm. Nah, it’s only six miles.


Stupid move #2: When I realized I was thirsty by the first quarter-mile, I should’ve returned home and picked up some water.

For the first two miles, I really tried to keep myself from running too hard. I felt okay despite being thirsty and hot. Yes, hot. I know it was only 65 degrees, but I don’t think it’s been over 55 since October. It wasn’t too hard to stay between a 9:30 and 10:00 pace. I ran in and out of cul-de-sacs in my neighborhood. I was sort of dreading the 5K. (Mile 1: 9:39, Mile 2: 9:16)

Stupid move on the run #3: I hadn’t planned where I would run the 5K portion of my run. I wanted to run the route I did for the last virtual 5K, but I ran out of room on my 2-mile warm up and just ended up running the last half-mile of that on the 5K “course.”

Jelly Bean Virtual 5K
I still felt okay as I stepped it up for the first mile of the 5K. I was hot, constantly felt like I had to spit and would’ve paid 100 bucks for a tube of Chapstick. I kept wishing for some shade, but couldn’t find any. Our neighborhood and most of the neighborhoods next to us are fairly new, and so are the trees.

I made it up the other side of U-Go Hill and thought I would like to maybe stop running. I wanted to walk. I don’t usually feel this way. I hoped for shade on the other monster hill on this run. (Mile 3/Mile 1 of 5K: 8:37)

I was so hot. So thirsty. I was cursing myself for not bringing water. My stomach was not happy with me. My spankies kept crawling up and I kept adjusting them not caring who saw. I was dreading the hill I knew was coming. It’s not like I could avoid it. Our neighborhood is higher than the adjoining neighborhoods and so, no matter what, I have to climb back up to my neighborhood at some point.

I started up the hill (that did not have any shade, by the way) pretending like I was going to kill it. By the top, I was shuffling. I tried, willed my legs to move faster, but they wouldn’t. And once I got off of the hill, they still wouldn’t move any faster. There’s an intersection at the top and I hoped I’d have to stop, but of course, when I actually want to stop, it was immediately my turn to go. (Mile 4/Mile 2 of 5K: 9:08)

I had another mile to go and I wanted to stop. Just finish the 5K, then you can walk. I kept looking at my Garmin and seeing a pace in the high-9’s, which was disappointing. I’d wanted to test my speed, but the weather and all my stupidity had thrown that plan out the window. I ran past Dairy Queen and the smell of fast-food hamburgers made my stomach turn. Still no shade. Occasionally, I had to run into a strong wind and I welcomed it for the cooling factor, but it sure made it hard to move my legs.

I ran past the fire station and turned down the road that goes into my neighborhood. A straightaway! Usually, I can kick it in here, but even when I felt like I was going fast, I’d look at my watch and see that I wasn’t going quite as fast as I thought.

After the straightaway, I entered my neighborhood again. I had to run past my house. I wanted to stop. My stomach took a turn for the worse and I thought of Beth (from SUAR) and Mile 17 of that funny marathon video. (I also kept thinking about the Rob Thomas part of that video, “It’s a hot one…” and “Thank you, Rob Thomas!”) Ugh. On the backside of the neighborhood, I finally reached Mile 3 of the 5K, Mile 5 of my 6-miler: 9:32.

I walked my .1. Then I ran a little. Then I walked. Just one more mile! But as I turned back toward the front of the neighborhood, I really took stock of how I felt: soooo thirsty and extremely hot. I touched my arm. No sweat. I felt dry and a little woozy. I knew that was not good. I walked and as I got near my house, I decided to call it good. I finally did something smart!

I ended with 5.3 miles and knew I needed to be smarter as the weather warms up. Of course, it was back to rain and temps in the 50’s on Sunday.

I learned a lot on Saturday. It was a good wake-up call, and next time I won’t be so darn stupid!