Something’s bothering me, so I think I might feel better if I write about it. Feel free to tune out, this isn’t going to be pretty.
I had a few reasons to return to running 37 days ago. The main one, of course, is to accomplish a goal. I also wanted a new adventure to write about. And, I’d be lying if I didn’t hope this whole running thing would help me lose weight.
Throughout the year prior to becoming pregnant with T Junior, I slowly and steadily lost about 40 pounds. I almost never worked out. I just changed the way I ate via Weight Watchers. It wasn’t the first time I’d done their weight-loss plan. I also did it before I got married. (And stopped after the honeymoon because I thought I could do it by myself. Ha!)
I was less than 10 pounds away from my goal when I found out the flu-like symptoms I was experiencing were actually because I was pregnant. Over the next nine months, I gained a lot of weight. I’m not even sure exactly how much because once the scale reached 200, I stopped asking the nurses. I actually hadn’t been doing too bad until the sixth month. I gained more than 10 pounds…in ONE month!
Anyway, T Junior is 15 months old now and I’m still at least 25 pounds heavier than I want to be. For my anniversary gift in May, I asked for and received a subscription to Weight Watchers Online (WWO). I don’t have the time or money to go to meetings, even though I know people who attend them lose more weight more quickly.
My back was in constant pain then and I could barely walk let alone work out, so I was relying on WWO to fix my diet. It helped me get my eating under control, but I was losing so slowly.
So last month, when my back pain began to disappear and I decided to start marathon training, I hoped a nice side-effect would be weight loss. So far, there’s been a couple weeks where I weighed myself and lost 2.5 pounds, but then the following week, it comes back. Last Sunday, was one of those.
But this morning, I stood on the scale and gasped. I gained THREE freaking pounds. WTF? This means I have only lost 6.8 pounds since May 3.
I’m just feeling so discouraged. I’m not going to stop running, but I’m considering throwing in the towel on WWO because, obviously, it doesn’t seem to be helping me any. I guess I need to go to the meetings and I cannot afford that right now.
I want to be lighter, to run easier and to fit into new fall jeans. I mean, COME ON!
Okay, I think I’m done. Sorry ’bout that.