You know, I was thinking that tracking my calories might do more harm than good these days. So I stopped. I stopped wearing the bodybugg, stopped entering all my food into MyFitnessPal…just stopped…worrying about it.
I KNOW how much I should be eating. I KNOW when I’m eating too much or eating something unhealthy. I KNOW. And I need to be responsible for what and how much food goes in my body instead of trying to trick the numbers (working out to eat more).
I also am more aware of how certain foods make me feel. Because I eat healthy most of the time, when I do have something indulgent, I can feel its effect on me. Heavily processed or sugary foods, or very unbalanced meals (heavy on carbs and fats, no protein) make me lethargic and grumpy.
I’m about 156 pounds and I’m almost 5’8” tall. So, I’m at a pretty healthy weight. Yeah, I have some vanity pounds I’d like to get rid of, but I figure they’ll come off when I stop obsessing about it.
I think I first realized this over the Christmas holiday when my mom was here. I was telling her about my struggle to get rid of the last of the pounds, and she asked if I’d had my body fat tested and that maybe I don’t have any fat lose.
Haha. So funny, Mom. Love you, but I have fat. But maybe I don’t look as “bad” as I think I do. I’m one of those people that can’t see my body accurately in the mirror. It usually takes a photograph.
I guess I’m just so used to trying to lose weight. I’m hoping triathlon and strength training will help tone my body and make it look more like how I feel.
I may not be the strongest woman in the world, but I my body can do some pretty amazing stuff, including running far and fast, and riding my bike and swimming, and doing pushups and things. There’s loooottttssss of room for improvement, of course, but I feel strong. My body is powerful.
I want the way I look on the outside to reflect what’s on the inside.
It’s not about a number anymore.
It’s about a feeling.