Remember the part in the movie City Slickers when the characters are recalling a scene from the 1948 Western, Red River?
Yeah, the “yee-haw” scene.
Billy Crystal, Daniel Stern and the rest of the motley wannabe cowboys are sitting on their horses about to embark on a poorly planned cattle drive. But before they take off, they decide to do their own “yee-haw” scene and each of the men (and one woman) waves their hats and hollers their own versions of “yeeeeeeeeee-hawwww!” (that’s how I’d do it – think Jessie from Toy Story 2).
Afterward Crystal, in his blue Mets baseball hat, looks at Stern and asks, “Do you feel like a schmuck?” Stern quickly replies: “Oh yeah. Big schmuck.”
That was me, pool running, this morning.
The thing with pool running, while I know it’s good for you being that it gives you a workout with no- to low-impact yada-yada-yada, is that it’s just so awkward-looking. There are a number of reasons for this.
First, as in any water activity, there’s the whole matter of wearing a bathing suit. Next, there’s the flattering flotation device (pool belt) you wear to keep you from sinking – sort of a weight-lifting belt on…well…steroids.
Then there’s the actual act of pool running in which you’re legs are executing a strange sort of furious high-knee dog paddle – your arms pumping in all directions, your lower abs cramping, the tops of your thighs burning, your toes desperately trying to grab the water — while the only visible part of you (your head with mouth agape) inches forward at a rate of 60-minutes-per-mile while actual swimmers in the lane beside you gracefully, swiftly cut through the water’s surface, their gentle arm-slapping sounds lulling your brain into a somewhat Zen state, yet at the same time, heightening your awareness of just how goofy you really look.
Oh yeah. Big schmuck.