“I’m in my own personal hell,” I thought.
I lay in the dark, still like a tin soldier. It was quiet except for the whooshing of the fan. I breathed deep from my belly button. I tried a meditation technique I’d learned. But my eyes kept popping open involuntarily—like the first scene of a horror movie. It’s as if it was 4 p.m. instead of 4 in the morning. I’d been awake for almost two hours already.
Let’s go back to last week when everything came to a screeching halt. Toward the middle of last week, I started experiencing fatigue. Not tiredness, fatigue. Fatigue is different than being tired. It affects your whole body and puts your brain in a fog.
But I didn’t really pay too much attention to it at first. I thought I just wasn’t eating enough or something, so I made some adjustments to my nutrition.
And then I felt the tingling across the bra line on my back. I know this to be shingles, which I first got after my marathon in September 2015. My dermatologist (who is the one who treats shingles), still has not gotten back to me on what I should do about it. I have an appointment with a naturopath, but couldn’t get in until June 11, and an appointment with my endocrinologist, but couldn’t get in until July 14.
I don’t know if it’s the shingles that is causing my fatigue and high stress levels or something I am doing with diet and exercise. Yes, I have had a few days here and there that were pretty low calorie (1,100-1,200 range), but I’m not one to power through hunger, so if I get hungry, I eat. I don’t feel like I am exercising excessively—I’m doing less than 30 minutes 5 days a week! Usually, I do a long run on Sundays, but I listened to my body and skipped my long run last weekend.
I’m suffering, guys. I am like Yolanda on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills—only without her glorious walk-in fridge. I look fine, but feel awful. And it’s up and down! One minute, I have energy, the next, I need to lay down. Now I know why she didn’t go to Erica Girardi’s dinner party! Suck it, Rinna!
So, to be super blunt, I’m not that concerned with my inches or weight lost in Week 7 (last week), which were down, but so small it’s insignificant. Of course, it’s nice to have pictures. I can see some body change.
But whatever! I just want to feel good and be strong. That’s the whole reason I am doing this Metabolic Prime Challenge in the first place, and now here I am, totally weak. I think this means I’m out of the Metabolic Prime 12-Week Challenge.
I’m going to try some things:
- Yoga (got suggestions for this?)
- Substitute traditional lifting for some of the intervals to see if that helps
- Walking outdoors instead of always on the treadmill
- Epsom salt baths and tea every night if I can swing it
- No TV or electronics after 8:30 p.m.
These things are going to be very difficult for me. I want to be a bad-ass. I want to be strong and muscular and be able to do a freaking pull-up.
I’m so frustrated, I could cry. But, I can’t…because I’m too exhausted.